Fake Endless Cheat to unlock Luigi in SM64

[HavocReaper48]

...realize, "IT'S A TRAP!". The toads outside take off their costumes and are revealed to be Koopas. Grab a green shell and ride on it just like in Bob Omb Battlefield, killing all who get too close. Later, barge into the castle doors to find it mysteriously quiet. Fall through the trap door and into a pitch black room. "Did ya bring a light?" ...

[Ivy73]

...No, I didn't. You walk all around until you find a flashlight on the ground. Convenient. You turn it on and you see two doors. Both doors say "To Luigi." You enter the one on the left and find...

[Torchickens]

...(a) Giga Bowser, who swallows you up.  You find an Emoglobin in Giga Bowser's gut who says...

[R7308xx]

..."I AM ERROR." You go to http://www.nintendo.com/consumer/index.jsp, but the only things written the page are "I AM ERROR" and the address of Prince. You then contact the new married couple of Zoda and Pokey at 1-8-HUN-DER-ED-STPDASS but the only information they give you are the opening notes of Hilary Duff's "So Yesterday" and the location of Zoda's hidden lair of fresh baked Girl Scout cookies. You then throw the phone at the wall and inside you find...

[Metechar]

...a Ditto. It instead is revealed once again to be Zorua. Zorua: "YOU AGAIN!" Zorua will then transform into Dark Mario again and challenge you. To defeat him...

[HavocReaper48]

...upgrade your fighter class to "Generic Light Warrior" and use your "Sword of Light" of course. Approach the Shadow and you MUST perform a 99 hit Super Combo finish, which should give you 30,000 points for using level 3 and a 30,000 point Perfect bonus. If you did not do 39,999 addition points' worth of hits landed and the combined score is not 99,999 or higher you did it wrong and need to start over.

Now that we can finally stop making so many Pokemon references (this is a Mario cheat after all) start speculating where you should search next. Perhaps we should investigate the plague that says "L IS REAL"? Approach the plague and...

[Sazandora]

...trip, falling into the plaque and getting amnesia. you wake up thinking that you are...

[Metechar]

...Kirby. You see a Boo and try to suck it up, but nothing happens. The Boo attacks you and some wierd glitch causes you to fall through the floor...

[R7308xx]

...and you are sent to Austinland. You find some headphones, put them on, and hear Chocolate Rain. You try to take them off, but they are superglued to your ears. A giant TV then turns on to...

[HavocReaper48]

...a RickRoll! Shield your eyes and ask the Incredible Hulk to remove those headphones. Then get Hulk to break the TV. Now that the Rick Roll threat is over, go float back up above the mysterious glitch hole in the floor. Of course, only Kirby could of done this. However, when you go around trying to eat everything DeDeDe stops you and tells you...

[Metechar]

... to **** off. In response to this threat, you insert your hand into Dedede's mouth. and turn him inside out. Dedede...

[Sazandora]

...becomes Ganondorf and he tries to Warlock Punch you, but you...

[HavocReaper48]

...use Falcon Punch, which is faster. Now that you've KO'd Ganon, his minions will be after you. Uh oh. Run away into town to find out everyone is a zombie! Grab your handy shotgun and survive 50 rounds of zombies. At round 51...

[pikachu8090]

A very huge Zombie appears. You must run away from it or else you would be on fire. If you are on fire quickly find a source of water to stop you from losing life points. To kill the giant zombie find the tile that has an X on it and lure him there.  Press the button to make the tile explode. If he is not under there you must find another way of defeating him. After defeating the Zombie you...

[HavocReaper48]

...must order a DukeBurger. Now that you're on full health go grab your shotgun again and you need to shoot a very specific wall tile in the 42nd house in town. If you shoot just the right tile, a rainbow beam will emit from the town center. It fades to reveal a warp pipe. Jump down it. Man, it's pretty dark down here. Did ya bring a light? .... Oh, wait yes you still have it from earlier. Shine some light and see that you are in...

[pikachu8090]

The stomach of a goomba! You must quick star beating away at its intestines before you are digested. After punch you ride a gas bubble up to its mouth and jump out. You are then surrounded by millions of goombas. You find a fire flower  to kill all the goombas quickly. After you defeat them you... 

[Sazandora]

... see a sign that says "Good Job! You have completed a cheat! Follow this arrow for Luigi." You follow the arrow and find Luigi but...

[pikachu8090]

you see a giant pit of slime blocking your path. You then have to find a luma to get past the slime. When you find the luma, let it follow you to the slime. when it transforms into a launch star, use it. when you get over the slime you...

[Sazandora]

...run into an electrical force field. you get a Game Over, but before you die, you see that Luigi was actually Kamek in disguise. you find yourself in the Underwhere and you...

[HavocReaper48]

...need to get back to the OverWorld. Look around and ask Pit (Kid Icarus) to help you. He's done this before. Team up with him to get through four stages of the UnderWorld. At the final stage you must beat the Cerberus. Now that you're back on the OverWorld (Earth, normal) you say goodbye to Pit, and thank him. Mario now resumes his search. Pit tells him he saw Luigi pass by the Dire Dire Docks. Go there to find...