Fake Endless Cheat to unlock Luigi in SM64

[HavocReaper48]

Guys, this isn't meant to be one line per post story 

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...wake up! Yay! You can now play as Luigi! However a few seconds later the Nintendo 64 freezes. Uh oh. You've been playing for too long. And you JUST got him too! Oh well, give the Nintendo 64 some time to cool off. Go outside and, (gasp!) get some fresh air! After your great outside day, go back inside and check on your '64. It's GONE!  Plot twist! You must find your Nintendo 64! Ask around where it is, and someone will tell you...

[R7308xx]

...have something on your shirt. Kick him in the face until he bleeds. You are walking along singing free-rights, copyright-proof public domain songs when you suddenly start choking. You learn from the Word on the Wind and a little birdie that fresh air is poisonous and that you'll die in...

[Metechar]

5 nanoseconds. Quickly, you slowly take your gas mask out of your backpack after searching in it for five minutes. You put it on and you survive! You wonder how you survived since it took five minutes to find your gas mask, but you avoid questioning anime physics to prevent paradoxes. Now you go to the moon, and you find your N64 in a deep crater. This time, you only have your gas mask, and keep avoiding questioning anime physics. You jump into the crater and you are sure it's your N64 because in marker it says your name on it. You find out it's hollow and you go look for your parts. You look...

[HavocReaper48]

...in random craters in he moon. Jump in and out of the craters as you collect the parts one by one. Once gathers they will magically assemble and form your long lost N64. Now you must get off the moon. Uh, how did you get up here in the first place? Oh, right, anime physics. Jump off the moon and onto a soft cushion millions of miles away on Earth. Yay for anime physics! Now that you're safe and sound on Earth...

[R7308xx]

...You must do the whole thing over again because you cannot progress in the story until you find the only weapon that can beat the final boss. But then, you come across a flying goldfish that ate your neighbors. You fry the goldfish in a pan with oil and spices and it spits out your neighbors who happen to be plankton. You put the plankton in an aquarium. You then go to grab an eclair out of your backpack when suddenly a wild...

[HavocReaper48]

...hungry wolf comes by searching for food. He spots you and your precious eclair! Whatever you do, DON'T let the wolf get the eclair! Run for your life and guard your eclair. After about five minutes the wolf gets bored and leaves. Now that the threat is gone, your eclair starts to glow, which means it will...

[Volatile Dweevil]

Cause your N64 to explode! You must douse it in Hershey's chocolate syrup and stomp on it seven times. It will then reform and you can play as Luigi! Wait- no, its only Mario, but his red clothes are green due to a mix up at the dry cleaners. Go to the dry cleaners and...

[R7308xx]

...join him, and he will make your face the greatest in Koridai, or else you will die. Then say you were just kidding, give him the eclair, and he will give you Mario's clothes. You are walking home when you are attacked by Mr. Carpainter and a bunch of Happy Happyists. You use PK Knife on them and they'll get scared and call they're moms. But it turns out that their phones were only receiver phones. You let them borrow your cell phone, but then Carpainter...

[TurtwigA]

Carpainter punches somebody, who punches him back. It's your duty to stop this fight, in one of many ways. I'd suggest the fireball, it's easy to do and it stops the fight the fastest. The bar fight then takes away your cell phone, and converts it to a Happy Happyist. Now it's time for the hardest task of all: lunch. You have to successfully eat 20 pizzas within one minute. If not, then you will never get Luigi, and he'll be banished to the shadow realm. If you do end up getting through this very hard task though,

[HavocReaper48]

...you will have a bad stomachache. And throw up possibly. You're too distracted getting dizzy and feeling ill to notice Luigi offering to take over for Mario. Luigi takes you back to the castle to lie down and digest. Well, that was thoughtful of him! Wake up to thank him, only to see a note he left behind which reads...

[R7308xx]

...you ordered OVER 9000!!! more pizzas and if you do not eat them in .00000000000000000001 nanoseconds the 4th dimension will crash into your 3rd dimension and blow up time and space and everything and nothing will exist anymore. You complete this task, and you are rewarded with a copy of EarthBound in the box, a copy of Super Mario Galaxy 2, a Chibiterasu plush, and...

[TurtwigA]

then that last post is erased, with the note actually saying "meet me at fountain, 2:00. Bring the money, or I'll screw her up real good." This obviously means

[R7308xx]

...that the Word on the Wind is holding the Bag Lady hostage with a Loose Screw. You take your prizes from the non-existent post that A erased and sell them for dinner. You put the dinner in your dinner blaster and use The Forks to go over to the Word on the Wind's domain in the City in the Sky. But The Forks are illegal, you know, so you must buy, buy, BUY or else your cakes will burn! You go over to The Unnamed Mall and buy, buy, B...

[Volatile Dweevil]

You go over to The Unnamed Mall and buy, buy, Bounce off of a trampoline at the mall's Trampolines R Us, crawl through the ventilation system and into a secret room with nothing but a warp pipe. Set off a Super Bob-omb and throw it down the pipe to activate it, then go down the pipe. It will lead you to a large fountain. At 2:00, Toad will come up and say: "Thank you, Mario! But the Word on the Wind is at another fountain." You rush towards the real fountain, hoping to make it in time, but...

[Sazandora]

...Wario and Waluigi get there first. They discover that it is a pipe, but it disappears after Wario goes through. Waluigi is left behind. He runs away, but you chase him all the way to Rogueport. Waluigi finds Don Pianta, who is currently trolling the NIWA forums. Don Pianta...

[HavocReaper48]

...has been permabanned by the time you get there. Waluigi however is not finished -- he claims, "Too bad, Waluigi Time!" and transforms into his true form. One gaze and you've been knocked out. Now, this is where it gets difficult. If the day you got to this part is not Friday, you will receive a permanent Game Over. However, if it was a Friday, you will wake up in your bed at 7:00 AM. When you hear the cheesy music in the background, you realize, you're living Rebecca Black's "Friday"! You must endure a Rebecca Friday -- which consists of:

-Waking up, eating cereal and rushing to the bus stop
-Driving with underaged friends and debating which row to take
-Explain your plans for the day and emphasize the day it is
-FUN, FUN, FUN, FUN
-FUN, FUN, FUN, FUN
-Partyin', Partyin'
-Review the days of the week
-Gettin' down on Friday
-Have another party

If you're still sane, you'll wake up and find out it was all a dream. Within a dream. Within a dream, within a dream...

[TurtwigA]

Then you get slapped by Edgar Allen Poe for stealing his poem. So now you have to

[Solar Dragon]

steal a frog from a frog zoo. After getting away with this, fly directly to jail, do not pass go and do not collect $200. Then you must...

[R7308xx]

...TAKE THIS HOUSE AND SHOVE IT! You shove your house in the face of the zookeeper. He will be impressed and take you to a singing monkey where you will learn the 3rd melody. You try to go fight Giegue with your 3 melodies, but he is not affected by your singing. Giegue pushes you off Mt. Itoi. You fall, fall, fall, and you are about to hit the ground when you...

[Metechar]

...land in a conviniently placed pillow shipping truck. You jump off to find out you're over a cliff, and fall until you land in a plane. You get inside to find a group of 6 skydivers. One of them says the corny Chicken Crossing the Road Joke, and, due to anime physics, you flinch and sky dive off the plane with no parachute just because you heard a corny joke. You land in yet ANOTHER conviniently placed pillow shipping truck. Inside, you find a dead grandma. You ignore her because it has nothing to do with the story. Again, you jump off and FINALLY land on paved road. A meteor hits the Earth, making it explode, and you go flying 50 Billion miles into space to another planet named Planet. Once you awake, the Helmaroc King swoops down and grabs you. A group of pirates start shooting the king and when he flinches, he drops you in the woods on the summit of a mountain on a peaceful island in the middle of the sea. You get attacked by flopping Cheep Cheeps, which proves your a wimp. You jump off the mountain because of your wimpiness. You fall in the sea and get eaten by a Gyorg. You then wake up in the same pillow truck you landed on before...but it's located in space. THEN you wake up in Mario's House. You kill some random guy and bury him under the floorboards, with no trace of him at all. The neighbors called the cops because they heard a stick being crushed outside, and the cops checked all the houses. When they went to your house, you chatted with them and had tea. You sweated all over...and heard the thumping of the heart of the dead man...You gave up and revealed him and got arrested for 50 milleniums. After you get out, your body is still as it was before. It hasn't aged at all...You glitch through the floor and fall onto another pillow truck under the floor and ride it to an unknown place. That place.. is....